Dora The Explorer | Bad Influence?

Well, I never thought I'd be making a rant on another popular kids show, "Dora The Explorer"..




This is basically yet another rant on a kids show known as "Dora The Explorer" and oh boy was it hard for me to look for a decent rant on this show because there are so many IRSOG rants and not enough good blog posts for me to read off of so I might as well just do the IRSOG first using my transcript that is similar to the official.

Now i'm doing the IRSOG first so some people could understand this,  Yes this transcript variation follows all standards and laws, and yes i have checked my local laws for these transcripts and i am sure that this is legal.

If you are not a higher intellect or unable to understand Vecistanist/Cyanidian humor/knowledge behind my real rant, It's best that you just read the IRSOG styled rant.

The IRSOG styled rant.

Let's just get to the point.

"Dora The Explorer", what the hell, This shows title should be changed to more like, "No Door The Dead Explora!", Oh my god, oh my freaking freaking freaking god! this show sucks so bad that i would not let this air on tv ever, not even let it sell any products or what not!

The show is about a spanish lady who i cant understand because she does not speak english, Then she has a monkey named boots as a sidekick which i dont even give a crap about, Then we have a blue bull who is literally a load of bullshit, Then we have some iguana reptile thingy lady that is literally gender neutral, then we have some purple squirrel that only speaks spanish because hes from mexico and english isnt his native language nor can he learn it, then we have diego from the east that has rescue animal, then we have the baby jaguar which can go "row row!" in some chorded voice, then we have a fox who tries to steal random things but is stopped by three simple words that must be said three times, and when he does steal them, he suddenly loses interest in keeping it so he just throws it away! and guess what, nobody gives a shit about the rest of the characters, not even 1630228 shits are given!

Thank god this show got cancelled in 2014, But there is a sequel called dora and friends into the city which i hope gets cancelled, so dora, i hope you choke on vomit and float face down in a river.

I know someone who likes this show, Mason Fisherman, He thought he could just post a video on a restricted vyond account.. but he never knew the cost.

And i know someone who hates this show and that is pretty much everybody else, including me.

So screw dora the explorer and screw every other show that imitates dora!

The AIO PC that at least has 8GB ram at purchase and is upgradable, with a hard drive that at least has 1TB and preferably a 7200RPM speed is a lot better than dora the explorer

end of rant...

[ If you can't understand what is happening here, Do not read below this line ]

i said.. END OF RANT..

I...WILL...BLOCK...YOU!!!

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The real rant

Ok, Now that i got that out of the way, I can finally move onto the real rant.  

Just as a warning, If you can't read or understand most of the rant, or if you are unable to comprehend some of the more superior intellect that is targeted towards the more older audience. Or if you cannot understand Vecistanist/Cyanidian humor/knowledge or even their political humor, Do not continue because i think you're better off with the IRSOG.  You have been warned  it does contain some inside jokes.

So let's cut to the chase already..

So then, We have dora the explorer..  I have put the lazy goanimate rant up in case other people don't understand. 

The show is about a 6 year old that goes through random places with her monkey boots, She gets go go anywhere and everywhere ALL while unsupervised.  

Mainly, this show annoyed me so much that she wouldn't stop bothering me when i was trying to do that one tile puzzle from riddle school 5 (I eventually solved it)

Now let's get to the point, This girl usually goes through random places, She needs your help to go through obstacles while in reality, she doesn't, it just runs by itself.. And then, This made me develop some questions,  Why does almost every character have to speak spanish? 

In other words, Whenever she needs to go anywhere, She has to have the map with her which sings "I'm the map!" over and over again,  then we have three places we have to go through (Two obstacles and your destination), Then they have you repeat this for a couple times to shove it into your head like how they shove a carrot down her rabbit hole!   I bet you that GMVP would've just had to stop her in every way possible..

Now, as you can see, when they're on their way, There is swiper the fox who just slips in every now and then, and in order to stop him, you have to say "swiper no swiping" three times, and when it is done, he just says "oh man!" with a FINGERSNAP... But if he does get it in time, He'll say "You're too late!" until he realizes that this item is worth nothing to him so he just throws it out into the abyss where you have to find it or do some dumb task..  On one occasion, He just threw out the entire contents of a lunchbox and gave the empty lunchbox back.. Why?  What makes it worse is that she is always the victim of this thief.  Even then, I wonder if he has sold any of this stuff.  I wonder if he does this for a living, or if he gets paid to steal stuff..

Then we have a troll bridge where you have to solve a riddle in order to pass,  (which usually has something to do with his pets or whatnot, sometimes even his personal questions like what hes preparing for dinner) but if you try to pass without solving the riddle, it's either immediate death, imprisonment, or a fine of 25 million dollars or much greater punishment (Yes he is that lenient,  The IRS would've been able to deal with this)

And then sometimes, She has you pick which path is the right path to go to..

And then, there is the iconic "wheres the mountain scene"...

And then theres that one time where there is a large trump wall or "The Border" which she had to pass SOMEHOW.. And then there was that time where dora had tried to sneak over the US border but was sent to mexico,  Then there was that time where dora had travelled all the way to Vecistan to the RLVP just to find out that he was in braintree.. The outcome.. She travelled all the way to braintree just to find out that it wasn't where RLVP really lived.

It was pretty political how much you could get out of it, Political cartoons everywhere that do not make any sense at all.. It would be to where only a Vecistanist would know..

I'll write a better rant that only a REAL vecistanist would understand.. So until then..

I guess i'll have to-

Continue this rant in Vecistan!

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