What's your sign? - Another satire

Right then, I haven't had much to blog about recenetly, So i guess i might copy from someone else, since i know this has been done countless times before like this guy did.. So here it is, another one of those "whats yer' zodiac sign" things, So let's get to the point already.. and maybe predict your "future" with some of my crappy predictions.. Here it goes..

♈ : Aries

March 21 to April 19

Alright then, So, If you were born from the range of March 21st to April 19th. Then you might have arisen some time in your life, You might just be a person better than me, and if you haven't already arisen yet Aries, You might be able to do so later in your life.. Because the world might just be revolving around you. Shit, Maybe the entire universe could just be revolving around YOU.. 

♉ : Taurus

April 20th to May 20th

So if your a Taurus, Congratulations.. Since your animal is a Bull, You might be able to get yourself a physical copy of the Windows Longhorn UI concept. Or you might become a lolcow.. who knows, It might just be a whole lie, But hey, I don't know, This is just my prediction.

♊ : Gemini

May 21st to June 20th

Basically,You are a Gemini so that means you're Two People? Prehaps it's just you with two separate emotions, or Sides, as i like to call them, Who knows, You might just end up feeling as if you are both genders, if you believe there are more than 2 genders, as in people who believe in the 80 billion gender system, That might apply to you.. But with all that aside, You seem to have two separate sides of you, Usually, You might end up with one side being "Depression" and another side being "Anxiety".. or prehaps even better, The Good and The Bad.

♋ : Cancer

June 20th to July 22nd

So you're Cancer? A Crab? Unless you're one of those Mr. Krab's people who are richer than you. I'm going to make this fair.. If you were born somewhere around june, You might have some Good Luck, But if you were born somewhere around July, You might just end up with bad luck, since you are crabby either way, And by this, i mean bad luck, Who knows, you might end up having your luck balanced, But you would end up with bad luck, since you would be easily triggered.. since you are crabby as fuck.. But for this prediction, Bad luck is coming your way..

But unfortunately for you, Your bad luck may lead to depression, Which your depression may end up with you attempting to relive the past..

♌ : Leo

July 23rd to August 22nd

Ah, So you're a lion? Maybe you're also a kitty cat. But since lameface was born on this sign right next to mine.. He technically is better than me, So you might end up with better luck than me.. So, With that aside, You might end  up being a leader, or prehaps, a totalitarian. Shit, you may end up leading a whole army.. Do you have what it takes?

♍ : Virgo

August 23rd to September 22nd

So you're the virgin? You might end up thinking that "women are superior to men", But who knows, it may be the other way around, Shit, You might be more superior than Leo and Cancer, since you're a Virgo/Virgin.. but with all that aside, If you have lost your virginity already as a Virgo, Congratulations, You might just be a better person than i am all together.. Anyways, If you're one of those people who believe that there are more than 2 genders, or believe in the 80 billion gender system, And if you identify as one of those 80 billion "gender's", This prediction might not apply to you, as it applies to "True Virgin's".. Anyways, Let's go to the next sign..

♎ : Libra 

September 23rd to October 22nd

Ah, so you identify as a Scale? I know what you're thinking.. "IS THE BABY INCLUDED IN IT?".. Well no.. It's sold separately, with 300 easy payments of $3.99, But with that aside. If you weigh 150lbs or over, You are not eligible for my prediction, But if you are under 150lbs, You might be eligible for this prediction, I know this problem, So that's why i'm dividing my prediction for you into two categories.

Prediction for people that are 150lbs or over

If you are over 150 pounds, You probably will end up having to go on a diet, or perhaps start bodybuilding, listen, That number on the scale is very important to you, and your future, So, If you weigh over 150 pounds, I have no predictions right now, as this is a hard one. 

except you're weak.

Prediction for people under 150lbs

Honestly, I don't know, I have no predictions right now..  Except you're weak, You're weak either way..

SO LETS GET TO THE NEXT SIGN!

♏ : Scorpio

October 23rd to November 21st

If you're a Scorpion, well... Honestly, I don't know what to say, You might be worse than Cancer.. 

And since halloween is coming up, and it's on you're sign, You might be even sp00pier than halloween.. Basically, You may end up becoming a Killer Clown like IT.. Just be careful.

♐ : Sagittarius 

November 22nd to December 21st

So you're not just a man, But you're also a horse. hmm.. this can only mean one thing, I have to divide the predictions because of Bronies.

So unless you're king dice, These predictions will not apply to you.

Prediction for Bronies that are Sagittarius.

So, If you're a male that likes MLP, Then you identify as a brony.. And because some bronies are under the age of 10, This means i have to divide it ONCE AGAIN..

And because of the "anti-bronies", I may have to divide this AGAIN.. 

Prediction for Sagittarius Bronies under the age of 10

I know what you're thinking, For 9 year olds to be reading this? Basically, This blog might not be suitable for the younger audience, But anyways, Here is your prediction if you are a brony under the age of 10..

You may identify yourself as a "brony". But in reality you're pretty much irrelevant to the brony community, But don't fret, You're under 10, And while i respect that you're under 10 and you're a brony, This prediction may change over time, So here it is..

As long as you keep your brony side a secret from everybody else, You are OK, But if it slips up, You might end up getting bullied by the other signs of you, Even a little slip-up, Just be careful.. You may end up being a laughing stock, A punching bag, Or even a cringe-kid..

If you have any of the following below

ADHD

Aspergers

Autism

Crippling Depression

SchizoPhrenia

Retarded

or just another "Rick And Morty Fan"

and you slip up.. You're predictions may become worse..

All i have to say is bad things might come to you.. 

But let's not make Sagittarius into a full brony prediction.

Predictions for Sagittarius Bronies that are 10 years or older.

So you are 10+ years and you're a brony..

I hear that the brony community is dying, and you might be dying 

If you feel as if you have been exposed to the bad side of bronies, Don't fret, You're not in any type of danger.

Please check the Brony App or visit [censored link for readers] for more help.

Anyways, here is your prediction.

If you slipped up and got caught, You may end up becoming another "chris chan stereotype".

Unless you Remember to recycle everything except semen, because that is what chris chan did..

MOVING ON ALREADY.

Prediction for Sagittarius Anti-Bronies

So you're against bronies?

I also respect that you're against bronies.. But remember, If you slip up way too many times.  You may end up becoming a brony, Just be careful.. You may end up being another SJW.

If you feel as if you have been exposed to a toxic side of bronies, Please check the brony app provided by our sponsor, Or visit [censored link for readers] for more help.

And here is your prediction:

You would end up being hated by the brony community, However, Their responses are often funny, Hope you had a great laugh..

Predictions for Sagittarius KING-DICE

I don't have your prediction yet.

♑ : Capricorn

December 22nd to January 19th

So, You're Capricorn.. No surprise, You're a goat..

This is a hard one, But i'll try my best to predict this one..

"Life, Get One!"

♒ : Aquarius

January 20th to February 18th

You're A water carrier? 

Apparently, You might end up drinking and pissing, it's a simple process..

We're all water carriers, Nothing special..

Unless you're aquaman of course..

♓ : Pisces

February 19th to March 20th

So you're a fish? 

Of course... Mainly, You're nothing special really.. I just realized that i don't care about Pisces, You're basically just a GENERIC, Or maybe just another NORMIE.. Honestly, If you are a normie, I respect you... Even if you get your meme info from "behind the meme", I'd respect you, But just a heads up, You really shouldn't be listening to behind the meme, He is explaining dead memes to you, he always uses that same format, Stock footage, Reaction gif's, Royalty free "classical music" and even that GENERIC VOICE.. He has been known for brainwashing normies with filler's, But anyways, Just know that if he makes a video on protegent, Memes could be un-balanced, But hey, With hotel mario becoming a meme again, Who knows what this past could hold..

With that aside, Your prediction may vary, I honestly don't know you're prediction, So with all that aside..

"Nice for CLoggermore to invite us over for a blog eh, gay luigi?!"

Conclusion

With all that aside, Please know that these predictions may not be accurate and may change overtime but they are guaranteed to be my predictions..

But until next time, Take care.. and see you on the other side..

ߓߎߒ~