Advent Calendar Day 1 : Disney Junior

Right then, This is gonna be yet another advent calendar i might end up abandoning, but anyways here is that rant on the terrible Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and the Preschool TV shows on The Disney Channel nowadays..


So let's start off with Disney Junior.. So you're wanting to watch what used to be "Playhouse Disney", well too bad because Disney decided to ruin such a decent channel by modernizing the channel back in 2011, so it is now known as "Disney Junior". And i know what this means, It means that Disney ruined some childhood memories yet again by modernizing the characters for such channel, as in making Mickey Mouse rather "Kid Friendly" enough to make himself look like an idiot and by making Winnie The Pooh into a CGI Character, and worst of all, combining "Peter Pan" with "Dora The Explorer"

Yes, That, is what is now known as "Disney Junior".. Not just disney junior, But disney channel too..

#1. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

So you're wondering what the hell happened to "Mickey Mouse"? Well, it seems as if Disney had cancelled "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" (as of 12/1/2017) 

It seems as if disney had to dumb down and modernize the character "Mickey Mouse" to get with the times.. and how is that possible? Well.. They decided to make show called "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" which is somewhat considered "educational" and CGI Animated.

Now, i'm not a parent yet, but i know how disappointing some shows can be nowadays, but hey, i shouldn't judge, but i am so i guess it probably won't matter..

Anyways, they really have done something to mickey mouse by making him somewhat like a kim-jong-un/donald trump fused leader, So anyways, lemme give you a plot of the episode

You say the magic words (the password), a clubhouse magically appears out of thin air, you walk in and just like that, you encounter a problem that mickey and the gang need your help to solve.. Now these problems are actually very stupid, and very simple, so simple, that they could've just done it by themselves.. like this is how simple they are..

• Saving Santa
• Being trapped on mars
• Finding a duck
• Pete stole balloons
• Lost birthday party favors
• Saving a lost chicken from a giant,
• and other dumb problems

You see? These are very simple, They have a portable "mousekatoolbox" called "Toodles", which actually questions me, "Why do they need a 4-year old's to help solve a problem when they could've used Toodles to help solve the simplest of problems instead."

However, some task's are difficult, but they are solved quite easily by a animated disney logo called "TOODLES" that could be summoned from some "Mousekadoer" which has some song for every time it boot's up.. Anyways, "TOODLES" has four mousekatools, and only four uses.. One of them is a "mystery mousekatool" which is known as a "randomized tool", in which, you could get help from him just by shouting out "OH TOOOOOODLLLLEESSS!"

of course, after he is summoned, you have four items of choices, one being a "mystery mousekatool" hidden from sight until you're forced to pick it.

If a tool is selected, toodles lights up and says "we got ears, sayyyy cheers!"

The next thing that bothers me is how insane the logic of this show is.

One time, they made you push a button to create a train sound, and the correct button was a hot-dog and "how and why was that", because as mickey explains using monty-pythonesque logic, you "chew" a hotdog, and if you "chew chew" you get CHOO CHOO,

anyways, once the problem is solved somehow, you gotta do the hot-dog dance, which is somehow, a song written by "They Might Be Giants!"

Terrible right?

#2. Jake and the Neverland pirates

What do you get if you combine a childhood classic "Peter Pan" with a terrible show "Dora The Explorer"?

You get "jake and the neverland pirates", These two do not go together at all..

When playhouse disney got modernized into disney junior, they thought it was a good idea to ruin another childhood classic by putting "Peter Pan" and "Dora The Explorer" together into one show..

it's bad.. So bad that not even "Peter Pan" or "Tinker Bell" wanted to be in the show.

So, let's start..

First off, Where the hell is peter pan in the series? Is he too busy being that kid on the peanut butter jar?

Doesn't matter, This show makes me wonder "Damn, what happened to captain hook"
Captain hook has really dumbened himself down becoming a lot nicer because "Disney Modernization, Gotta stick with the times!"

I mean, the episode starts off with jake and the crew stumbling upon a "treasure" which has no value at all, and all the sudden, Captain hook desperately wants it because of "Disney Modernization".
So he sends Smee off to steal it, Smee fucks it up, and so, captain hook steals it from them, jake and the crew steal it back, and hook fails because "Disney Modernization", the end..

and due to this, i somehow found out that "hook and smee" are actually "rick and morty" in disguise.. but that probably won't matter..

Conclusion

Apparently, Disney junior has some crappy shows nowadays Some shows even worse such as "Little Einsteins", "Nina Needs to go", "Chuggington", "Doc McStuffins", "Henry Hugglemonster" and other shows.

Disney Junior isn't what it used to be anymore.. I doubt that they're hiding some sort of propaganda i don't know about in their new shows..


but for now, see you on the other side...


ߓߎߒ~